Rape Culture & The Insidious Truth
By now we have all heard about how Miss Nevada suggested self-defense when she was asked about rape, and how the Feminist Universe took up arms against her. The sentiment seems to be that Miss Nevada is “victim blaming” and is somehow being a misogynist. Am I missing something here? How is it empowering to teach women that all the power to stop rape is in men’s hands? Sure, we can teach men not to rape. I’m all for that. It might even do some good. But what about the ones that refuse to learn? Men rape because they want to. You can teach them all you want and guess what? Some of them are still going to want to do it. I don’t get it. Do these women want women to be victims? To just take it and say, “I’m helpless, you big bad man. Please have a change of heart. I’m a person, too” in the hopes that he might suddenly see you that way? Since when is being proactive bad?
How far does this go? Since “rape culture” is ultimately to blame, can we really blame the man either? After all, isn’t he just as much of a victim of it as women are? Where does this ridiculous bullshit stop? I don’t deny that the so-called “rape culture” exists in some ways but I do deny that it is responsible for turning men into rapists. Men – and women – become rapists because they are seeking a way to feel power over somebody else. It has nothing to do with sex and here is where both sides of this debate are getting it wrong. It is absolutely appalling to me to read or hear comments that say, “Why couldn’t he just masturbate?” or hearing talk about “sex-crazed psychos.” Jesus, people! Read a book! Masturbation would never stop rape because it only relieves sexual desire. It does nothing for the desire to control and dominate another human being and that is what drives rape. Rape is about power, not sex. It is about taking something from somebody that they don’t want to give. It’s about force, not desire. Many times rapists cannot even get or maintain an erection, or cannot achieve an orgasm: because it’s not really about that. This is why a man can get regular sex at home from a wife or a girlfriend and still be a rapist. For whatever reason, he cannot dominate or control his wife or girlfriend the way he wants to, so he finds someone else to victimize. It happens all the time. This is also often the reason people victimize children. It is why castration cannot “cure” a rapist or pedophile and it is why heterosexual men rape other men in prison. It has nothing to do with sexualization and everything to do with the domination of someone weaker than you. Rape is a show of force. It is a way to say, “I can do whatever I want to you and there is nothing you can do about it. I am powerful.”
When I see these topless or nude demonstrations from women where they are carrying signs that say, “I AM NOT A SEXUAL OBJECT!” I am equally appalled. How are you proving you are not an object by objectifying
yourself? The reason you are being objectified or objectifying yourself doesn’t matter. You are still portraying yourself as an object, just on your terms. How does this help anything? The point is to get them to see you as a person, right? Walking around naked is never going to do that. It puts the focus on one thing. Isn’t the whole point to show that you are multi-dimensional? That you are more than just your genitalia? I don’t see how making it the focal point of your entire statement is supposed to change that impression. It won’t. I mean, I get it: “The point is that we should be able to be naked/topless and it shouldn’t MATTER!” Sure, but that is not reality. If you want to reach people, you have to reach them on their level. If you cannot do that, it is going to fail. In this way, rather than making your point, you’ve only made things worse. Because now, people only see you as objectifying yourself. They are not getting your point at all. And that is not their failure, it’s yours. Sorry but it had to be said. It is normal and natural to notice, admire and even sexualize nudity. You want to shove nudity in people’s faces, then punish and shame them for their natural reaction to it. That’s counterproductive and it only creates confusion, anger and obfuscates the message you are supposedly trying to send. And if we are being brutally honest, how many of these women just want to get naked for attention anyway and have simply found a “right” reason to do so? Probably at least a few. Again: counterproductive.
The prevailing idea here seems to be that women are helpless objects that cannot fight back. Or, even more absurd, should not have to fight back. Rape is wrong. We all know that. But it is a reality. The purpose of the anti-rape culture movement seems to be to reduce women once again to helpless victims. To me it looks like women who are being groomed to be victims because they are being taught that they have no power here. I stand in staunch opposition to this and always will. Here’s a newsflash: not everybody does what they are supposed to. Not everybody cares about other people’s rights and feelings. Not everybody does the right thing. Thinking that more education and sensitivity training is going to protect you in this world is a pipe-dream and it’s a dangerous one. You cannot “cure” or educate someone out of being a rapist. It is impossible. Making women put on clothes is not going to change things and women running around naked telling everyone not to look is not going to change things, because these things have nothing to do with why rape occurs. Rape occurs because a person feels powerless and wants to assert control over another human being in order to feel more powerful. No amount of sloganeering or naked protestation is going to change that. You want to help? Educate yourself regarding the reason why rape occurs before trying to educate society on how to prevent it.
Miss Nevada holds a 4th degree black belt. She’s got the right idea.