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Posts tagged “gender

Is Pedophilia a Mental Illness?

There is a post going around about the self-proclaimed pedophile who wrote an article about pedophilia. He received quite a bit of hate for it (of course) and wrote a follow-up article entitled, “I’m a Pedophile, You’re The Monsters: My week inside the vile right-wing hate machine.” I’m not going to name the guy or link anything; if you want to find it, you can. However, my concern was with the comments on some of the posts about it. There seem to be way too many “pedophile apologists” on the internet for my liking. The main thrust of the argument seems to be that pedophiles need to be treated, not hated. I have a few problems with that argument.

The biggest problem is that pedophiles have been trying to use the homosexual platform for years, but anyone who points this out gets shouted down as a homophobic bigot. What’s being largely ignored here is that it’s pedophiles who are making that comparison, not anybody else. It seems that no one ever wants to acknowledge that. They want to pretend these so-called right wing religious extremists are comparing pedophilia to homosexuality, but it is pedophiles who are doing that. Pedophiles have essentially attempted to co-opt homosexuality for themselves; they portray themselves as ardent gay rights supporters in order to be accepted by the homosexual community and then engage in deliberate confusion of the issues, trying to make gay rights and pedophile rights seem like the same thing. They are not. Homosexual behavior involves consenting adults. Pedophilia does not. If any so-called homosexual behavior does not involve consenting adults, it’s pedophilia in disguise. Period. Same with heterosexual behavior. The gay community needs to come together and oust these wolves in sheep’s clothing if they do not want to be associated with them, because it is they who are creating the association.

Pedophilia is not a fetish. It’s not a paraphilia and it’s not a mental illness, any more than homosexuality ever was. If homosexuality is not a mental illness, neither is pedophilia. Homosexuals are not attracted to people of the opposite gender. Pedophiles are not attracted to adults of either gender. Both of these have been (and in some cases, still are) considered “outside the norm” for human sexuality. Therefore, we are faced with either agreeing that pedophilia is also a sexual orientation, or agreeing that homosexuality is also a mental illness. It can’t be both things because in the world of psychology, the age of the desired “partner” doesn’t really matter. What matters is that the desire exists is outside of (or in contrary to) the norm of “normal” human sexuality. Hence, either both are sexual orientations or both are mental illnesses. You cannot classify one as a mental illness and not the other based on the fact that having sex with children is illegal. In terms of classifying mental illness, this doesn’t really matter. We all know that homosexuality is not a mental illness, but people are very hesitant to say that about pedophilia. It’s probably because admitting pedophilia is a sexual orientation is how it’s getting lumped in with homosexuality and other “accepted” sexual orientations. It’s how pedophiles are using the homosexuality platform to try to advance their own agenda. It gives the pedophile platform traction, and some are using that to try to legitimize it. However, it doesn’t. What you are has nothing to do with what you do, and it is no excuse either way.

It is because of this hesitance to call pedophilia what it really is that people don’t seem to understand (or are refusing to admit) that treating pedophilia does not work. Even castration does not work. Again, pedophilia is a sexual orientation. Could they treat you and cure you of being heterosexual or homosexual? No, they cant. It doesn’t work. As an aside, it’s funny how people don’t realize what they sound like when they keep saying this. They sound like the people who were advocating “curing” homosexuals of their “mental illness” 50 years ago. “We can help them be normal!” No, you can’t. They are what they are.

People might argue that after some pedophiles are treated, they don’t reoffend. Others say some pedophiles never offend at all. First of all, I wouldn’t bet my life on that if I were you and second of all, a homosexual person can go through their entire life never having sex with someone of the same gender and that doesn’t mean they’re not gay. It means that for whatever reason, they are controlling their behavior. It’s the same thing with heterosexual people. You can force a person to stop acting on their desires but you cannot make the desires go away. We are talking about correcting internal drives vs correcting external behavior, and they are not the same thing. You cannot make a homosexual man become attracted to women, no matter what you do. You cannot make a heterosexual man become attracted to men, no matter what you do. You cannot make a pedophile become attracted to adults of either gender, no matter what you do. These thingscannot be changed.

In other words, you can possibly correct a pedophile’s behavior but you cannot cure him of being a pedophile. Some might say that’s enough – and maybe it is – but don’t call it what it isn’t. These people are not cured. They will never be cured. Now, there are some people who aren’t true pedophiles; they are predators that will just prey on anything weaker than themselves: men, women, children, animals… These particular people could be “cured” of preying on children if the consequences for doing so are severe enough, but there is a difference between a pedophile and a predator. Pedophiles can be predators in addition to being pedophiles, but they are not the same thing. True pedophilia is a sexual orientation. A pedophile is only attracted to children and only desires sex with children. (Not all children – just as gay men aren’t attracted to all types of men and straight men aren’t attracted to all types of women – but only children.) A predator, in contrast, will take advantage of whomever is convenient and weak. Predatory behavior is about the other person being a victim, not their age. However, as is the case with pedophiles, predators cannot be cured of being predators, either. In my considered opinion, both of these types of people are walking time bombs. It’s only a matter of time until something terrible happens.
You cannot cure a dog of being a dog, you cannot cure a pedophile of being a pedophile and you cannot cure a predator of being a predator. It’s what they are.

The Battle of The Bathroom: Political Correctness Run Amok

Recently I got into a… not really an argument or debate but just a small thing with someone on social media regarding whether or not transgender folks should be able to use the bathroom they choose, rather than the one dictated by their anatomy. My position is that they should use the one dictated by their anatomy, simply because it has become too much of a grey area and a line has to be drawn or a distinction made somewhere. It’s going to have to be there. That’s the simplest and most obvious resolution to the problem, and for me it is a problem. Not because people are trans, though. I have a problem with the whole transgender bathroom thing because for someone to feel uncomfortable if an opposite sex person is in the bathroom with them would be a pretty common thing. Most people don’t want that. If nobody cared, that would be something totally different. But they do care, so why do 500 people have to be made uncomfortable just so one person is not? I’m all for equality as everybody knows, but that isn’t equality – at all. It’s special rules for special people, which is the antithesis of equality.

If someone can say, “My rights are being violated by forcing me to use the bathroom for my anatomic gender because I don’t personally feel that gender is correct. I feel I’m in the wrong bathroom which makes me uncomfortable,” why is it not OK for someone to say, “My rights are being violated by forcing me to use the bathroom with someone who is not anatomically the same gender as myself even if they think that gender is incorrect. I feel they are in the wrong bathroom which makes me uncomfortable”? Isn’t it the same thing?

Transgender person: “I am uncomfortable using the bathroom around people I feel are the opposite gender from myself, even if they don’t think they are.” The narrative says OK. You don’t have to. This is a big deal and we will do everything we can to ensure you are not uncomfortable.

Non-transgender person: “I am uncomfortable using the bathroom around people I feel are the opposite gender from myself, even if they don’t think they are.” The narrative says You’re a bigot. Suck it up. It’s not a big deal and if you say it is, you’re just overreacting. 

How is that fair? It’s the exact same thing. This is where it bothers me. For me, it’s not a transgender issue. It’s the unfairness of the narrative. The person I got into the thing with asked the folks in the thread, “And what do you actually think they’re going to be doing with thier [sic] penises in the bathroom? Chase you around and say “ooga-booga”? Rape you?” That right there is bullshit. It’s stating that if someone is uncomfortable by having to use the bathroom with someone they feel is the opposite gender, they’re being needlessly fearful and overreacting. That translates into: Your feelings about this don’t matter. Yes, it affects you personally but they still don’t matter. Your privacy doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, except how this one person feels. She went on quite a bit about how it was no big deal and people who had a problem with it are just overreacting. If that’s the case and it’s no big deal to use the bathroom around people who you feel are the opposite gender, why can’t our hypothetical transgender friend just use the bathroom dictated by their anatomy? Oh, right. Because it is a big deal – for them. The hypocrisy of that argument just absolutely astounds me. It really does. “I’m doing the same thing you are, but you doing it is bigoted.” What the hell, man? I’m hateful and bigoted for saying the same thing you’re saying? I’m hateful and bigoted because I don’t want to go to the bathroom with people of the opposite gender – the exact same thing transgender folks don’t want? Why? Why is it OK for them to feel that way but not for me?

It isn’t just with this issue, of course. This issue is just a perfect example of the hypocrisy and absurdity of political correctness run amok. In an attempt to appease the few, the many are sacrificed. This in the end appeases nobody. It breeds anger and creates a feeling of being marginalized and disrespected. Of course, it’s supposed to. Divide and conquer and all that.

As an aside, I find it amazing that so many people claim to be against “rape culture” and state ridiculous things like, “The penis is by default an object of violence” but somehow are able to reconcile the penis as inoffensive and impotent (sorry) when the bearer of said penis believes he is a female, and further, that they insist that girls and women who don’t want a person who is anatomically male in their bathroom need to simply put up with it.