As I have said in other posts on this blog, the world is becoming overrun with narcissists and sociopaths. These empty vessels are frighteningly easy to create and impossible to deconstruct. It is not their fault they are this way; they do not become such empty vessels by accident. It is almost always the result of childhood abuse, neglect or other repetitive childhood trauma. The question that then comes to mind is, “Are they to blame for their behavior?” After all, they are victims. At what point do they stop being victims and become perpetrators? Do they ever stop being victims?
These broken people walking around cannot help what they are. They cannot help the way they see the world, or the fact that they can only view other people as objects. They cannot help the fact that they are incapable of love or empathy. They were utterly failed in a very real, very sad way by whoever raised them. They are fundamentally broken, flawed and empty beings. It is not even precisely right to call them human beings; the internal landscape of the narcissist and the sociopath is barren. Alien. It is obvious to many people. Many who come in contact with these vacant containers feel right away that something is off or wrong about them. And it is. They walk around mirroring and pretending for their entire lives, trying to mimic normal, integrated human behavior and listening to an incessant, sadistic and vicious superego that tells them how disgusting, awful and terrible they are 24 hours a day. The pressure of this is crushing. The stress is unrelenting and there is no escape from it. So are they to blame for doing things that give them relief from this torment?
Yes. They absolutely are.
Narcissists and sociopaths know that what they are doing is wrong. Maybe not morally, maybe not personally but they know that this is not how normal people behave because society does not condone or approve of it. If they thought it was OK, they would not conceal their behavior or go to such lengths to ensure that people never find out who and what they really are. Because of this, they can and should be held responsible for their behavior and their actions. Hiding or excusing what they’ve done only permits them to continue to wreak havoc, destroy lives and hurt people. Hold them up to the light. Bring their behavior out where people can see it. They are afraid of being exposed and it is your only hope of stopping them.